By Kemi Olatunde

It takes careful consideration in raising children especially in this 21st Century as parents input matters in achieving bright future for them. The extent of rot in the society has become worrisome and the home plays a major role in this. To a large extent, the home determines the outcome of the society and that is why it is important that parents give their children a good start in life especially through nurture, adequate protection and guidance among others.

    Parenting is a process that prepares a child for independence. As a child grows and develops, there are many things impacted into the child to help impact  positively in  the society.

 Most times,  parents have expectations they want their children to live up to and that is why you should make certain decision which shouldn’t be too hard for them to follow. The mistake most parents make is that they compare their children to themselves forgetting the fact that they are just starting their lives.

 It is crucial to treat children with respect as the best way to enjoy respectful treatment from children is to treat them respectfully. You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your children is the foundation for their relationships with others.

An educationist, Pastor(Mrs) Omotayo Tapere while speaking with The Hope noted that children learn so fast by imitation as they tend to copy from their parents, adding that the best way to parenting  a child is through visual aid.

According to her; “If a parent wants his/her child to be a genius, the child should read in their presence, if you want them to be hardworking, you too should not be lazy.

“A parent should model her child according to her plan in all areas including dressing, speech, action, emotional response and intellectual capacity among others.

“All these can be achieved through the acquisition of knowledge in every aspect of development of a child so as to know how to respond to their traits as children of various ages have peculiar pattern which is common to them.”

A mother of four and Nurse, Chidinma George who attributed the involvement of youths in social vices to the failure of parents, stressed the need for parents to get along with their children.

She explained that some parents are too busy to give necessary attention to their children adding that they shift their responsibility to others at the detriment of their children’s future.

She said that “peer pressure is the major cause of youth involvement in social vices as children spend more time with their friends in school or at home. Due to their weak nature and tender age, they can easily be influenced.

Children have a high level of curiosity to learn, to have fun and practice new things thus making them smoke, drink, have sexual intercourse  and so on. A proverb that says “show me your friends, and I will tell you who you are” shows the significance of friends and how they influence lives. A child tends to behave like his or her friends so as not to be labeled as cowards, uncivilized or crude.

A child who moves with children with poor academic performance can be like them in no time and will be lured to the shortcuts to success such as examination malpractice. Being a virgin, which was once a thing of pride has now turned into an object of ridicule among students now. An innocent girl will want to experiment what her friends discuss and may be pushed into sexual activities in her tender age. Peer pressure is a major cause of vices in the society.

“In order to ensure that our children become role model to others, we should create time for them and be interested in their affairs. Let them be free with you so that they can always be free to talk to you whenever they are being bothered.”

A father of two and medical doctor who craved anonymity called on parents to show care, and give more attention to their children. Children from the permissive and uninvolved parenting styles fall mostly into these traps. They move with wrong people, their movements are not queried; their academic progress is not followed up. Freedom to do anything without  being  probed affect children negatively. Negligence of parents can make the wards to turn to their friends for love,  and  care, advice which  can lure them into deadly acts. An abandoned girl can look up to an opposite sex for love and affection.

Some maids, househelps, family members who are always around children in the absence of their parents can introduce these vices to them. Some may even violate the children sexually, warn and threaten them not to tell anyone. Even if the bold ones are determined to confide in their parents, they may be too busy or occupied to listen and see through things. Many parents have spoilt the lives of their children without them knowing.

A father of four and Lawyer who doesn’t want his name in print noted that there are various ways to raise a child adding that the method to be embraced by parents varries depending on their children.

He said that the society has in the past dictated the way his generation were raised, noting that children of these age are too smart to be raised that way.

According to him, every child is unique and  different in their own ways as they are gifted with different talents and skills, adding that parents must at all cost avoid comparisons between children.

Speaking further, he said; “it has been said earlier that they are unique and as such,  they must learn to respect and value others irrespective of their status in life. Let them know that they are privileged. Additionally, teach them that with those privileges come responsibility and the need to be respectful.

“Teach them that it is okay to say No and to be different. They should be trained to be confident with leadership. They should stand for what they believe in. As parents, we should ensure that what they believe in mirrors the principles of Honesty and Integrity. Teach them that true leaders also serve people.

“Children’s liberty should be increased on the basis of their sense of responsibility. Appropriate rewards for exemplary responsibility will also encourage a child. A child who gets everything he or she wants will tend to grow up with a negative sense of entitlement. Teach them to have and set boundaries. Setting up a strict bedtime routine is one such example that needs to be followed without fail.

While noting that he has been on a similar topic on raising children in recent time, he added that parents should avoid disciplining their children in anger  “they should not make empty threats. There should be a balanced approach to discipline. For instance, as a child grows older, parents should learn to communicate/reason more and punish less. Discipline should be consistent and parents should not send conflicting signals.”