By Josephine Ogunoyinbo
Perfection in marriage is a myth. When a marriage looks perfect, most of the time what you are really seeing is work, commitment, and creativity.
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage because it is made up of imperfect people. God is the only one that is perfect and having Him in the middle of your marriage guarantees perfection in all the imperfect circumstances.
If you want to enjoy your marriage, at some points you must decide to choose pleasure over perfection. Your relationship will never be perfect because you are not, and neither is your partner.
There is a wide distinction between perfection and pleasure. If you are seeking perfection in your marriage, happiness will remain an unreachable dream. .
However ,two imperfect people can have an absolutely pleasurable marriage when you keep God at the centre of your home. Learn how to hand all your imperfections to God and trust Him to help you both maximise everything you are going through in your marriage. Both of you have strengths which you bring to your marriage and that should be your focus.
Do not spend so much time focusing on your spouse’s faults that you miss your growth opportunity. Loving an imperfect person is one of the tools used to become mature .We grow in character as we learn to overlook faults, overcome selfishness, forgive endlessly and give grace and chances to each other.
When the reality of marriage does not meet our expectations, we tend to blame partners.When it comes to marriage, we expect the fairy tale of ” happily ever after”.We are convinced that marriage will solve all of our problems, our partner will meet all of our needs, and that we will live happily forever without issues, which is quite impossible.
When the partner fails to live up to the dream or ideals, such people do not noticed that their expectations were much too high. Instead, they blame their spouses or that particular relationship believing that maybe if they had a different spouse, it would be better ,which is not true in most cases.
No marriage is happy all of the time. there are ups and downs . Couples listen to each other’s point of view, recognise when the argument is going off the rails, and make the necessary repairs.
Majority of the happiest couples have weathered hard times ,therefore if you and your spouse sometimes argue, or are going through a rough patch, this does not necessarily mean you are in an unhappy marriage. In fact, it probably means you are still learning how to tolerate one another.
There are many factors that contribute to a satisfying marriage/relationship such as; Love, Commitment, Trust, Time, Attention, Good Communication including Listening , Partnership, Tolerance, Patience, Openness, Honesty, Respect, Sharing, Consideration, Generosity, Willingness among others
Spouses who are intimate, emotionally supportive, trusting, and caring have healthy marriages. Friendship is strengthened in spending time together. Couples often have different hobbies and ideas, but key indicators of a healthy marriage is that couples enjoy each other’s company and have a respect for one another including commitment to their children.
While no marriages are the same, research shows that all happy, long-lasting marriages share the same five basic traits which include, communication, commitment, kindness, acceptance, and love.
Couples must learn how to maximise their strengths, minimise their weaknesses, serve each other in love, and make the choices that will lead them down the path of fulfillment in marriage.
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