By Bisi Olominu

Mrs Adetutu Akinseloyin was enjoying real love in her marriage with her husband, Dare Akinseloyin. The marriage was peaceful and full of love with adorable four children with one of the children studying in higher institution.

Mrs Akinseloyin was a successful businesswoman and the husband too was progressing in her fabrication work. But devil one day played a fast one on their family as their boy in the university developed a heart problem. They thought it was a minor thing until the case became worst. They spent fortune in various hospitals in Nigeria, this gulped fortunes from their businesses until both collapsed. They had to borrow from friends until they too could not give again. It was then that Mrs Akinseloyin remembered her former boyfriend while in the university and put a call through to him. That former boyfriend was passionate about his former woman and after exchanged of notes, the former boyfriend decided to foot the bill of the sick boy to an hospital in India.

They were in the house one day when a message came into the handset of Mrs Akinseloyin, and it was a bill of N6million to do the heart transplant of their child in India.

The boy after spending two months came back to the glory of God and the family became happy again.

The Hope went to town to speak with some people if it is right to collect money from their ex.

Speaking on the issue, Mrs Adeola Yemisi posited that once a bridge has been broken, there is no need to look back again. According to her, it won’t be good for a married woman to look for help from her ex for it could bring old memory and both could reignite their old days which would destroy the marriage.

” It is not right to collect money from your ex if you want your marriage to last. If you are doing such, no matter your relationship with your husband, trust will not be there again. Once your husband is aware of such move, it is bye, bye to such marriage, trust will not be there again, there will be terrible fight and the end result will be divorce.”

Asked if in the position of the story narrated above where her son was in need of money for operation and their finance has nosedived, she answered that she would look for money elsewhere.

” No matter the situation, well I don’t pray for such, but I will look for money elsewhere, not going to my ex for money. You must know men and their abnormal behaviours, once you ask for something, they will like to ask for something in return. So, it is not a good thing to ask for money from your ex”.

To Mr. Tunde Also, it depends on circumstances and the relationship between your ex and you before you go your different ways.

He maintained that “if there was no ill feeling but strong relationship between both of you, there is no reason why my ex cannot help me when in need.

” It is a matter of maturity. If both of you understand yourselves and you know the circumstances that makes you not to marry, then there should not be bitterness in helping each other. I am still in contact with the woman I wanted to marry. We could not make it because of our little differences which had to do with the year we both wanted to marry and parents disagreement. There was a time she was having issues with her children’ school fees, he called me for help and what I could afford was sent to her account. I know her husband and children and my wife too know the woman I am talking about. If you want to help your ex, go and do so without any condition. You must have it at the back of your mind that the tide could turn against you, she may therefore be in position to help you too.”

In her contribution, Mrs. Olajide Monisola posited that if she should, her husband must be on the known from the beginning and his contributions to the circumstances must be approved.

” If I must get money from my ex because I am in dilemma or circumstances beyond my control, I will involve my husband from the beginning to the end. We will have a discussion and after much deliberation and agreement, I know he will be shy to follow me, but I will go there after I might have called him to get the money from him. Desperate situation needs desperate solution and since there is no condition attached to it and your husband is on the know from the beginning to the end, then you can go for it”.

To Mrs Ibiyemi Oyebola while speaking with The Hope from her base in Osogbo said she cannot ask money from her ex because it is not a good idea after being married to someone else.

According to her, it is tantamount to betrayal of one’s husband’s integrity, love and loyalty. She maintained that she would not pray for such circumstances to befall her that would make her to ask for money from her ex.

” I don’t pray for that but if it happens, I prefer to look for money elsewhere rather than opening my family to ridicule. Most men are ingrate and they can sometimes open your discussion, ridicule you by saying unprintable things about your husband by saying he is unable to provide for your needs. If you listen too long, they will be asking for another thing. So to me, I will prefer to ask for help elsewhere. Since God has not destined you to marry, why asking for help from him again?

Her assertion was also supported by Mrs Teni Oni who posited that she could never go to her ex to ask for favour no matter her circumstances. She narrated that her friend fell into that trap and it destroyed her marriage as the husband believed that their relationship was based on deceit and not true love.

” My friend was in need of money to complete her education which the husband could not provide for as the husband too was pursuing his masters degree. Though the marriage was young, it has just produced a little daughter of two year old then. But the woman insisted that she too must complete her education to get promotion at her place of work. In the midst of the conflict, she approached her ex for money and that obliged since they separated in love. When the money had been obtained, her husband was furious and due to their irreconcilable differences, their marriage hit the rock and both went their different ways.

”Either by coincidence or not, after some years, the ex who helped her ex girlfriend in her education, his wife died in an accident, and today both of them are married and living peacefully”.

Mr. Tajudeen Olaiya while speaking with The Hope said that it is not a good idea to seek for money or help from one’s ex no matter the situation. He asserted that it was an invitation to anarchy and continuation of your lustful way of the past.

” Once going to your ex for money, one day she would invite you to continue your escapade, and once you are in it together, what both of you have built will crash immediately. So one needs to be careful in such situation and look for one’s needs elsewhere”.