By Maria Famakinwa
Mr Alani Ajisegiri (not real name), an artisan who resides in Lagos State, was advised by his parents to come to his village to get a wife if he hoped for a peaceful marriage. He informed his parents of his decision to marry a lady he met in Lagos State but they disagreed with him insisting that good wives could only be found in the rural areas based on their experiences. The confused man sought the advice of a friend who told him that being good has more to do with individuals and less of a person’s environment.
It is generally believed that the environment plays a major role of influence on people. It goes a long way to affect people’s thinking, act and conduct in relation to life issues. The environment determines the level of exposure, maturity and civilization.
The environment also influences the choice of one’s partner as many people choose their spouses in their immediate environment. Though, some, especially men who believe that village girls are better wife materials prefer travelling to rural areas to choose life partners. Men in this category opine that village girls are humble, loyal, respectful and possess other good qualities that sustain homes, which every man desirous of peaceful union should crave.
The Hope sampled men’s opinions on the topic. A driver, Mr Sanni Tomori, believed that village girls are responsible and not corrupt when compared to urban girls, adding that they make better wives.
His words;” Though, village girls are primitive but they are of good morals and virtues. Most girls who grow-up in village environment are believed to be virgins who conduct themselves in a godly manner. Unlike most city ladies who are too money-conscious and insatiable. They will want to know your salary, and the money in your bank account so as to be sure that you can provide for their needs, which is not so with village girls.”
Sharing a similar sentiment, a businessman, Mr Sunday Busayo, who advised men against marrying city ladies, hinted that most of them are too exposed and intelligent to respect their husbands’ decisions. ”
Most city ladies are not wife materials, they often prove to be difficult and expensive to maintain because of their education and intelligence, which tend to put men under emotional stress.
“What sustains a home is when a man is blessed with a submissive wife. There are some village girls that are also literate which I can cope with, instead of marrying a city girl who will chase me out of my home thereby leaving my life in regret. Village girls will not indulge in extra-marital affairs, question or flout your order. I will rather choose peace of mind with a village girl than marry a city lady who can cost me my life.”
A Civil Servant, Mr Charles Banjo, who described himself as a quiet man, revealed that marrying a village girl is the best option for him as he added that city ladies are mostly uncontrollable.
He said: “If I get married to a city girl, she could beat me up. I am equally worried about the high level of divorce being witnessed across the nation these days which is not so when one get married to a village girl. Most city ladies do not believe that marriage is a life contract, once there is any challenge, they sue for divorce claiming irreconcilable differences.
“Issues of marital infidelity is also common among city ladies, which I do not pray to experience. Village girls are fresh, humble, respectful and can cook different traditional delicacies which makes men happy.”
In a different reaction, a Computer engineer, Mr Henry Agu, opined that city ladies are more preferable because they are not as deceitful as rural girls.
He said:”When a man chooses to marry a city lady, he already knows what he is going into rather than marrying a village girl who is brought to the city, and will later become civilised and go out of control.
A friend made a mistake of marrying a village girl, sent her to the university after giving birth to two children but never returned to her husband and children after her graduation. Village girls are unpredictable, full of deceit and mostly possessed. None of them can fit into my world,” he maintained.
A civil servant, Mr Bimbo Hassan, also said that he cannot marry a village girl because he cannot present such to his friends and his educated parents.
He said: “I cannot marry a wife who will not complement my status. Besides, village girls are limited by their upbringing and environment; once they are taken to the city, the environment changes them and they become something else. It is advisable for a city man who prefers village girl to also relocate to the village, otherwise, he will not be able to control the supposedly village girl if he takes her to the city because the girl will also want to adapt and adopt city life.
”Besides, village girls can be very wild. It is just like releasing a lioness from the zoo. There are some level of interaction I expect from my wife which I cannot achieve by marrying a village girl. How can my wife not be able to represent me in a forum? Marrying a village girl will be a set back for me. I cannot present a village girl as a wife to my parents who will think that I am under a spell. It is unthinkable that with my level of education and exposure, I will settle down for less. There is no way I can be attracted to village girls.”
When told that some men go for them because they think that they are better wife materials, he disagreed with the submission and revealed that,” most village girls are not what they look because I did my Youth Corps service in a remote area. Most of them are wrongly exposed to things we think they are innocent of. How many of them are virgins? They are easily lured into immoral acts mostly by men older than their fathers because they lack the basic understanding due to their limited exposure. The same cannot be said of city girls who are aware of their rights and can immediately report any sexual advances to the appropriate quarters.
“The most talked about teenage pregnancies and child trafficking thrive more in the village as a result of their limited education.
“The mistake most men make is believing that marrying rural girls bring solution to marital challenges forgetting that the only thing that remains constant in life is change. An Igbo man in my street, two years ago, married a lady from his village; August last year, the lady had a boy. In December, they both travelled to the village for Christmas celebration but people around were surprised to see that only the man came back after the celebration. When asked about his wife and baby, the man revealed that he was not interested in marrying her again because she was caught having an illicit affair with an older man she was dating in the village before she got married to him. The man had since re-married a lady in the city and regretted his initial marriage with the village girl.”