BY Josephine Oguntoyinbo
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The key to raising a well-rounded child is to establish a solid support system at home so that he or she grows up satisfied with his or her achievements and ambitions.
The goal as a parent is to help your child feel competent and confident, and to help them develop a sense of passion and purpose, It is the education that started before she sets foot into school that is crucial in bringing up such a child.
If you want to enhance your child’s learning abilities to eventually boost his or her academic performance, it will take consistency, dedication, and patience. There are techniques in raising a child who is well-balanced, healthy, and happy with his or her accomplishments.
The best way to raise good kids does not involve expensive private tutors or fancy summer camps. Instead, it is all about making them care. A recent research revealed that children who think about others are happier, plain and simple which is great because, as we all know, a happy kid also means a happy parent.
Kids learn about care and respect when they are treated in such way.
To this end, praise your child, even if he or she got low marks in examinations. Praise your child in front of others. Never make your child feel that he or she is useless, but encourage them in order to harness their God -given potentials. Never favour one child over the other for whatever reason.
Every time you speak with your children, speak with love, say “thank you”, etc. Do not use slang i.e gimmi instead say ‘please give me’; use clear words, be polite and never abuse them (do not use slang as it will decrease your respect).
You need to bear in mind when your child is young that he or she is just a child, do not take away their playing time by treating them like an adult. If we do this, they will rebel in life.
You need to assist your children to make decisions. He or she must be taught to make decisions. Acknowledge them, guide them by talking to them, if they want to go for something, organise the plan for them.
Likewise, whenever you have decisions to be made, ask your child of his or her opinion. For example, if you are going to buy a car, ask their opinion, where they like to eat, or what colour they like for a car, this develops the habit of consultancy in them.
Depending on the house you are living in, you should perhaps have a corner; write the name of the child there, as it is their territory. Paste their achievements on the wall; this makes them to be confident of themselves.
Teach your child to follow you to read the holy books, it. Lead them rather than instructing, it is a more powerful way. What your child sees you doing is what they will remember forever. Start instructing them to read bible or Quran and pray at the age of seven . We need to make sure that we train our children to read a portion of the Bible daily according to their capacity, this will help them and make it easy for them to continue in that way when they reach puberty and it becomes compulsory for them.
Also, we need to teach our children how to put forward their opinion, though you may disagree to a point. Do not use abusive words when you disagree on anything as this will inculcate in your child wrong perception as he or she is watching you being aggressive. Children have much more grasping power than us and they pick up things very fast.
You must encourage your child to ask questions, and try to answer each question they ask, else they will get it from a wrong source. Praise their questions at times as a way of encouragement.
Always fulfill your promises to your children. Do not make big promises when you cannot fulflil it, this makes them develop a habit of making false promises. If you fail to fulfill any promise, explain the reason.
It is also important to teach our children how to develop skills of being a member of a group. Team work is very important; this teaches them to give chances to people in life rather than always competing.
Pray with and for your children, even if they have gone astray, pray for them. Tell them that you might fail once, but never lose hope. Teach them how they should react to a failure.
It is necessary to apologise to your child if you have made a mistake, this teaches your child to repent unto God. Do not raise ifs and buts when you are wrong; there are no ifs and buts when it comes to repentance.
Have a few surprises for your children, to praise good deed, give them recognition at home, that this surprise is for the good they did, this will motivate them to do good at all times.
Tell your child repeatedly that you love them, tell them how gorgeous they are and how important they are to you, hug them, its good to appreciate God over your children.
Be a great mother and role model to your children.