Parents often say things we may not fully understand at the time, but years later, those words shape our decisions, mindset and even the course of our lives. WEEKEND HOPE spoke with some individuals on the issue.
Excerpts:
By Destiny Akin-Adelola & Oluwafunmilayo Olorunmbe
The advice that stuck with me was from my mum when I got admission into university. She said, “Always treat everyone with respect, because you don’t know who is who.”
At first I didn’t think much of it. But once I got to campus, it made sense. I met so many different people — cleaners, seniors, lecturers, even students in other departments. It’s easy to assume some people don’t matter.
After my mother told me that, I started being more intentional about how I treated people, even the ones I didn’t think were important. It actually came back to help me when I needed help. Someone I was polite to ended up pointing me to an opportunity later on.
Honestly, it just changed how I look at people. I don’t try to figure out if someone is “useful” before being respectful. It keeps me grounded, and it’s saved me from acting dumb more than once.
My mum used to tell me that” wherever you are, remember the daughter of whom you are” so anytime I get to a place I don’t know before, I mind myself and my actions. I remember the advice and behave myself.
One statement my parents said that truly changed my life was: “Pray like everything depends on God, and work like everything depends on you.”
This statement helped me understand that success is not just about waiting for miracles. Instead, it is about doing my best while trusting God to guide, strengthen, and bless my efforts. Whenever I face challenges, it reminds me to pray with sincerity, then rise up and put in the effort required instead of giving up or waiting for miracle.
Over time, this mindset has given me balance, maturity, and a stronger sense of responsibility. It has shaped the way I approach my goals, relationships, academics and personal growth.
My mum is someone who likes to encourage me not to relent even when everything is not going well. So in anything, I always try to put myself together and have the confidence that I am capable, no matter what I face.
When I was still smoking, my mum used to tell me that what I was doing was not good, and that habits like that were harmful. At the time, I didn’t really pay attention to her advice.
Later on, when she stopped warning me about smoking, I began to reflect on my actions and started thinking about quitting. Back then, I was living with my friends and we would smoke together.
But now that I have stopped smoking, I am now living with my mum where I manage myself. Now, I have realised that what my mum used to tell me is now very useful to me. If I had not taken time to think and eventually stop smoking, something bad might have happened to me.
Most important lessons my mum taught me that changed my life are about sincerity and the kind of people I associate with. She always told me that wherever I find myself, I should be sincere with the people around me.
Secondly, she advised me to be mindful of the kind of people I walk with, because they can influence the kind of person I become. According to her, the people we associate with today will determine the kind of outcomes will experience in the future.
Since she told me this, I have become more conscious of my associations and my behaviour. I try to act in a way that, if people meet me again in the future, they will have good things to say about me. Because of this, I always try to be straightforward wherever I go. However, in the kind of environment we live in, it is sometimes difficult to always say the truth. Despite that, we should still strive to be truthful. Even the Bible teaches us that “We shall know the truth, and the truth shall set us free.” No matter how people react, once you have spoken the truth, you have done your part.
My parents told me and my siblings that we must be sincere and truthful when dealing with people on anything. They told us that whenever we have any dealings with other people, we must treat such deal, maybe business or whatever with utmost sincerity and openness.
My father cited his own personal experience, saying because some people knew him as a very sincere and trustworthy person, after they parted ways, about twenty or fifteen years ago, they still remember his ways of doing things genuinely and truthfully.
So, I always make sure my yes is yes and my no is no in dealing with my friends and colleagues at work. I’m always open and sincere and willing to be plain with my friends which make them welcome me and they share a lot of ideas with me because they know that I’m a reliable person
My mum taught me to focus on my life and on building myself because this life is hard
So I think well about any little thing I’m about to do before doing it because for someone to excel in this life is not an easy thing.
I was taught about hardwork, consistency, staying focus and belief.
I am an artist and as an artist, you may not have the support and encouragement of your family and siblings but with hardwork, consistency and belief in yourself, you will excel. Being lazy won’t help anyone.
My dad, in particular, hates it when a woman is separated from her husband. He does not find it funny; he strongly disapproves of it. In his own understanding, he used to say that as a woman, if you do not want to get married, you should not get involved with men.
But if you decide to get married, then you should stay in the marriage rather than divorce.
Unfortunately, I fell victim to this situation. So, whenever he says these things to others, my conscience keeps judging me. But there is nothing I can do about it.